It is no secret that I like spending time online – you can look at the number of communities I’ve been in and the number of blogs I have. But I have noticed that online activity is not necessarily beneficial to mental health (comparisonitis is powerful, even if you try to avoid it). So when I heard of Alone Together, which looks at the way technology affects our social and inner lives, I was intrigued.

Alone Together is divided into two parts, the first on robots and the second on social interaction on the web. Both parts are based on interviews with groups of different ages, most (if not all) of them based in America.

As toys that can read emotions, such as Paro and AIBO, become more popular (although the book doesn’t talk about Pepper) and how these companion robots may affect their future. Apart from real-life robots like Pepper, the only previous exposure I had to the idea of companion robots was through manga like Chobits and Absolute Boyfriend, both of which end up with the ability to love, if not free will. However, unlike manga robots which can gain free will, real companion robots can’t. What they can give humans, however, is the illusion of companionship and a less demanding relationship. This is also why they appeal to humans; robots offer the benefits of a relationship without any of the demands of it.

After the discussion of robots and their possibility as companions, the Turkle moves on to talking about communication on the internet. Here, the discussion focuses mainly on younger people, unlike the robot section which looked at both children and the elderly. Topics include IM, social networks, and confession sites. The main reason argument of this part is that although technology has helped us to stay connected to one another, the connections are shallower and the stress of having to be always on leads to anxiety. From this section, I really liked what the line about what community is:

“Communities are places where one feels safe enough to take the good and the bad. In communities, others come through for us in hard times, so we are willing to hear what they have to say, even if we don’t like it.”

Although the book is trying to make the point that online confession sites are not real communities, even if they offer the illusion of one, I think that it is possible to have constructive online communities. The book doesn’t go this far, but I have been in communities that offer constructive criticism – of course there’s always drama, and yes criticism hurts when you can’t see the actual tone, but I wouldn’t say that it’s impossible to build a community on the web.

Another criticism I have of the book is that even though this is the 2017 edition, it still feels a little dated. For example, when talking about politics, the book argues that the reduction of privacy on the internet will affect politics negatively because “you can’t “take back” political behaviour” which could have negative consequences. But many political movements seem to be organised over the internet, so a bit more exploration about how things have changed since 2011, when the book was published, would have been welcomed. Another topic that would have been interesting to explore would be the idea of influencers – people follow them because they feel a sense of connection, but are they aware of how one-sided it is, and how do sponsorships and affiliates affect the influencer-follower relationship?

Overall, this was pretty interesting. It’s a little dated, the book tends to make the same points, and it is very America-centric (at one point, the book suggests that 9/11 is the reason why a generation of Americans feel the need to be connected all the time, something that doesn’t explain the rise in the same phenomenon in other countries) but it does raise many interesting points. I think it’s worth reading if you want to start thinking about online relationships and how they matter to you and society at large.