As I hit the two-thirds mark of The Tale of Genji, I realised that some of the characters here were echoing things that I saw on the Internet (especially about entitled people/dating) and for the first time, understood why The Tale of Genji has stood the test of time. Before this, I was just generally complaining here, during my May Rereading Month, and to friends whenever Genji did Yet Another Thing that annoyed me. This is not meant to be an exhaustive review of all relationships in The Tale of Genji or all aspects that have carried on to the present day, but here are three things that made me think “hmm… this seems familiar”.

Mr Nice Guy

If you’ve used dating apps in the recent past, have you come across any entitled people. People who might, if they were erudite, say things like:

“I had expected that, at the very least, you would come to recognise how I feel about you, but instead it seemed you were pretending not to notice and remaining aloof … and so with no other way to let you know, what else was I supposed to do? Even if you find me callous and hateful, all I want is for you to listen and understand my sorrows, which would wither and vanish if I continued to keep them inside my heart. You have been unspeakably cruel, but because I humbly respect you, I have not forced myself on you.” 

From the chapter: Yugiri

Does this not sound like a “nice guy”?

P.s. After this speech, the “nice guy”, who has a wife, barges into the girl’s bedroom and gets upset that she tries to distance herself. The lack of respect of boundaries is something that, sadly, is still around today.

“There is No Perfect Woman”

The retired Emperor Suzaku has suggested that Genji marry his 13-year-old daughter. Genji is concerned that Murasaki, the girl that he kidnapped and raised to be his wife, would be jealous. Murasaki, for her part, has resigned herself to the fact that Genji will never be loyal – seen from the fact that he managed to get a lover while in exile! And in response to Murasaki’s lack of anger, Genji says:

“I’m worried now… what does this docile acquiescence of yours mean? Have your feelings for me waned?”

From the Chapter: Wakana I

I actually found this line to be super interesting (and infuriating) because Murasaki has been raised to be The Perfect Woman. The fact that Genji can find something to say even when she behaves in a ‘perfect’ non-jealous manner shows that… sometimes there is literally nothing you can do to stop criticism. It reminds me a lot of how girls who play games sometimes get criticised for being “fake” gamers or doing it for the attention – because no matter what, you cannot win if you’re a woman.

“Everything was better in the Past”

If you thought that the romanticising of the past is something new/brought on by the internet (hello, cottagecore), think again. As Genji is going through his things, he remarks:

“These older brocades and damasks are more pleasing and better made […] and the arts today are superficial and inferior to works of the past in every respect save one … the writing of Kana is much better nowadays”

Yes, people in the medieval ages also liked to romanticise the past. Everything was better then, probably because there were no young people alive.

To be fair to the book, at the time that Murasaki wrote The Tale of Genji, everyone believed that they were in the last age of Buddhism, where there was a general decline and making it natural to see the past through rose-tinted eyes.

As you can see, reading The Tale of Genji doesn’t bring forth many positive emotions in me. If anything, it makes me a bit sad to think that in the span of a thousand years, unrealistic expectations of women and toxic relationships still endure. But, I’m slowly starting to understand why The Tale of Genji has such a huge presence in Japanese culture – Murasaki is a genius with characters and I think her early readers would have resonated with them.

Reminder: I’m currently drafting a beginner’s guide to The Tale of Genji for when I finish rereading. If you have any questions about the book, let me know!