I found this book when it was highlighted by the Public Libraries SG’s Instagram account and as someone who feels awkward a lot, I thought it was something that I should read.
Written by Ty Tashiro, a self-confessed awkward person, Awkward the book breaks down the issue of awkwardness into three aspects:
- What is awkwardness?
- Awkwardness in a social context – nurturing awkward kids and the awkwardness of dating/making friends
- The shift towards embracing awkwardness
According to Tashiro, awkward people are those who see the spotlight instead of the whole show. While social adept people can view a social situation at large and figure out what they need to do, awkward people tend to zero in one particular aspect, making them more prone to making small social missteps that could cost them social capital. So while awkward people have their strengths, they tend to deplete the goodwill other people have for them, which makes it harder for them to interact with others.
For Tashiro, his parents helped him by teaching him how to act in certain situations in a matter-of-fact manner. For example, before they went into a fast-food restaurant, they would drill him on the things he needed to do (e.g. decide on what to eat while queuing, say please and thank you, have the money ready), to help him to eventually generalise what he needed to do in similar situations.
While I enjoyed most of the book, I did think that the second section on awkwardness in social contexts could be longer. This section is subtitled “how modern societal shifts are making everyone feel more awkward”, but apart from a discussion on how the internet strips conversations of body language and other cues that make it easier to discern tone, I didn’t really see much about how everyone is feeling more awkward compared to the past. Are we indeed more awkward or is it just that very online people are awkward types (and socially fluent people are living their lives offline) and hence it seems like everyone is more awkward?
Overall, I found this to be an interesting book on what it means to be awkward. I enjoyed the many stories from Tashiro and his patients and it made me realise that I was lucky to have grown up with a group of supportive friends that, ultimately, helped me feel like I belonged despite my awkwardness.
I think a lot of us online are definitely prone to being more awkward in real life! I’m slowly getting better at social queues as I grow older hahaha
Same! Sometimes I wonder how I managed to bumble through social interactions when I was younger haha
It’s an interesting point you’ve made! I think many people do feel awkward in everyday life though in varying degrees. It could be that while we remain behind screens, both awkward and socially fluent people are faced with the same problems, like phrases and words or even emojis having very different meanings among those from different generations. The difference between language usage might be a cause of lots of misunderstandings and therefore the increased awkwardness online?
That is true! I find tone to be a lot more difficult to perceive online (according to the book, it’s because we can’t see people’s faces or hear their voices, which conveys a lot of emotional information).