I opened NetGalley for the first time in a long time and stumbled across this book. Perhaps it’s because I moved to a new country alone this year, but something about the book caught my eye and compelled me to read it.

In The Loneliness Epidemic, Susan Mettes uses data from the Barna Group to explore the topic of loneliness in America and what Christians and the Church can do about it. The book is broken into three parts:

1. What loneliness is
2. Myths and Truths about loneliness
3. The three pillars to protect against loneliness – Belonging, Closeness, and Expectations

Apart from these three main sections, there are also two appendixes: (A) what the Bible says abut loneliness, and (B) Should we look for a “cure” for loneliness?

In the introduction, Mettes is clear that loneliness is not necessarily bad. She draws a line between occasional loneliness and chronic loneliness, writing that:

“Occasional loneliness is a foil to satisfying relationships. Thirsting for them every now and then might make us better at investing in intimacy.

“However, chronic loneliness is defined by deficiency and distress, and it has destructive effects on human life and creativity. Chronic loneliness is rooted in unquenchable insecurity.”

It’s this second, chronic loneliness, that Mettes tries to address. Although the book is America-centric, I still found the second part on the myths of loneliness to be eye-opening. While I don’t think you can copy of trends in America to Singapore wholesale, I think it’s possible to use the conclusions Mettes has drawn as a starting point to investigate the issue of loneliness in Singapore (or the country you’re in). Some points that I thought were interesting:

• The way to correct loneliness is by “investing more heavily in friendships than in family. That’s countercultural, but there’s good research behind it; researchers discovered that chosen rather than kin relationships tend to help us most with loneliness.”
• There is a study based on the Framingham Heart Study which looked at the spread of loneliness. If you’re interested in reading it, I’ve found the paper here.
• “Fighting loneliness means checking up on our intuitions about who is lonely” – rather than assume that certain groups are more at risk and others are fine, actually talk to and check on the people involved.
• With regards to singleness, Mettes says that “the church has only intermittently honoured and supported singleness, although it should have always taken its goodness seriously” and this is a something that I agree with.
• Social undermining, social injustice, and rejected are also related to loneliness, which means that when we are addressing loneliness, we should also be looking at the causes of marginalisaton as well.
• “As Van Opstal says, “Biblical justice is lived out in the life of a Christian who’s asking the questions, ‘How do I bring restoration?’ ‘How do I bring flourishing?'” That effort brings a Christian deeper into a purposeful pursuit of a less lonely society.”
• Social media, when used correctly, does not lead to loneliness and can be used to supplement relationships. But it can be a contributor to the problem if you do not have strong real-life relationships.

The last section of the book is targeted towards Church leaders, on what they can do to combat the problem of chronic loneliness. For the rest of the Church, one practical step all of us can take would be to practice hospitality – opening our homes to others. It’s something that we are called to do, but the traditional forms of hospitality have been paused due to COVID-19. In that case, have we found ways new ways of showing hospitality?

Overall, I found The Loneliness Epidemic to be a thoughtful and timely book. While the book is centred on America, I think the suggestions on how we can check up on others and include those in our community can be easily tweaked to fit the cultural norms in other countries (like Singapore). Since COVID-19 is supposed to be endemic, I think this book would be a valuable resource in helping Church leaders continue to ensure that we remain an inclusive and welcoming community.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley. All opinions are my own.