This is going to be so embarrassing, and I’m not even sure how I’m going to say this (stood in the train staring at the phone for a long long time before starting to type this) so…

Um

Ummm

UMMMMM *takes deep breath*

I’m not going to that company that I was so excited about.

Considering how enthusiastic I was when I first accepted their offer, it’s really embarrassing to have to admit that I’m not going there after all. To cut a long story short (and because I don’t think I can and want to disclose everything), I started having severe second thoughts about going there. In fact, I had really severe second thoughts about staying in Japan after my graduation. Basically, there was a lot of crying in the middle of the night, as I tried to figure out if Japan was going to be a part of my future or not.  Luckily for me, my family is very supportive and said they didn’t mind either way, so there wasn’t any pressure from them.

And I guess this is what made this trip back home so incredibly important. I was feeling really homesick (I don’t know why my homesickness kicks in only on my final year), and I didn’t really want that messing about with my decision. So I knew I needed to make my decision at home. Plus, I wanted loads and loads of advice from various people, which I managed to get.

So after advice plus prayer, my new job decision is:

Stay in Japan. Reject first company. Accept Huis ten Bosch’s offer.

Since I haven’t started working, I’m not even going to guess or make plans as to how long I intend to work in Japan. I do know, however, that I want to stay at least long enough to understand Japanese working culture, and to learn what it’s like to work in a team here, and how to work effectively with a team. After that, I’ll consider my next steps.

Now that I’ve made the decision, I’m no longer a stressed, crying mess. So I’m quite hopeful that I’m finally on the right track, job-wise. And most importantly, I’ve learnt that while snap decisions aren’t bad per se (I’ve made loads of snap decisions that I don’t regret), it’s best to pray and include God in ALL the big ones.