This was a book that my counsellor recommended in a previous session and I finally managed to get my hands on it! The Asshole Survival Guide is a book that details four types of ways you can deal with the assholes who are making your life miserable.
First, the book starts by defining the situation. There are six questions to check how bad it is, how long the situation will persist, whether it’s a temporary or permanent asshole, or if it’s a systemic problem. When you know the situation, the book offers four solutions that you can use depending on your situation:
- Removing yourself from the situation – either pre-emptively or as soon as you can
- Avoidance – if you cannot remove yourself from the situation or avoid it, you can reduce the mental strain by adding a physical and mental buffer. The Allen curve says that adding some distance can greatly reduce communication.
- Reframe the situation – reminding yourself you’re not to blame, downplaying the threat, and other mental tricks can help you manage the situation. This is not a permanent solution but it can help if you need to stay in an otherwise unbearable situation for a while longer.
- Fighting Back – This may be the riskiest move of all, but it can also give you a sense of empowerment. And if you time it right, it can resolve the situation.
The final chapter talks about how we should be part of the solution, not the problem. There are seven things you could do to improve the situation.
This was an easy-to-understand book that mixes lots of stories with various studies and techniques that anyone can do. Some of the advice seems obvious (like putting distance between you and the asshole) but they are commonsense techniques, which I think makes this book a lot more applicable than if it gave some new and innovative solution. While I don’t know if this book is going to be a magic bullet, I think it’s full of tips that can help to improve a bad situation.