It’s interesting how book discoveries are made. I started off by looking at one of the books recommended by the NLB – How to Be Alone – stumbled across this book, and ended up borrowing it instead. And I have absolutely no regrets because this was a helpful book that *surprise* is more than what it means to (not) be in a relationship.

Utilising Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialetical Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Jennifer Taitz draws on her and her clients’ lived experiences to show you how you can live a happy life even without a significant other.

I’ve got to admit, the subtitle “science-based strategies for keeping your sanity while looking for your soul mate” isn’t my favourite because while the book is scienced-based, looking for your soul mate isn’t the end goal. The goal of the book is to help you be happy in the present, no matter what your relationship status and I think that is a very important message. Aiming to be happy while single isn’t a consolation prize for not being happy and in a relationship – it’s how you should be because it’s your life and you are not defined by your relationship status.

Now that I’ve got my thoughts on the subtitle out of the way, let’s talk about the book. It’s broken into two main sections: Part 1 is titled “The Misery Formula” and it looks at various thinking pitfalls that single people can make, resulting in feelings of sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, etc. Part 2 is called “The Sane Solution” and this is where Taitz introduces various techniques to keep your emotional health on a happy footing.

Taken together, the book presents a method for getting rid of negative thoughts you may have about yourself and teaching you how to stay in a healthier emotional place. A lot of the advice can be applied to non-relationship related things (for example, ruminating and what to do about it), making this book suitable for anyone who’s looking for ways they can help their mental health, especially in stressful times such as these.

While this book is written primarily for women (in the sense that it’s by women and most of the examples are of women), I think that the advice given is gender neutral – in fact, I’ve already recommended it to a guy friend of mind. If you’d like to learn more about how to be happy in general using various therapy techniques, I’d definitely recommend this book.