I’m sneaking away from work I’m using my 15 minutes tea break at work to quickly bang out this post. The idea has been in my mind for a few days and I would like to catch it before it slips away entirely. Because April is traditionally the season for a new start in Japan (new school, new work transfers, etc), my podcast feed has been mentioning new starts. Coupled with the announcement of an election in Singapore and the fact that I’m now in the weeds of preparing for a new phase in life and my mind has been pulled towards the idea of new beginnings.
Which isn’t too late to think about, given that we’ve finished the first quarter of the year. I briefly talked about the question of “what now” at the start-ish of the year (February is still early enough) when I talked about the history of me being on the internet and concluded that I like blogging. I still stand by that, but I have since realised that the question is a lot more expansive than I expected.
What do we do now?
Or rather, what do I do now?
What do I do about AI? I’m not a fan but everyone is using it.
What do I do with all the news? It’s been mostly doom and gloom out there, and I’m sure it’s important to stay aware, but at this point, is any of it actionable?
What do I do about hobbies? I’m so glad I picked up crocheting (and yes, I plan to write a post on that) but it does feel like there isn’t enough time for that.
How do I keep up my health, work, hobbies, and relationships?
I don’t think this is a question about being able to “adult” or being overwhelmed by the system/society. I think that my angst is, at least in part, prompted by the fact that I have been reading about books about culture and worldview and wanting so deeply to be someone who engages with the world positively, living in coherence with my worldview (i.e. my beliefs about the world) and yet feeling like I’m not quite there. I do… quite a bit, my days are definitely filled with activity, but how much of it is lasting?
To write conscious of the mayfly lives of both writer and reader, here for a flash and gone, means reaching for what is real, meaningful, and conducive to growth over what is spurious, frivolous, and degrading, and to say what must be said as concisely as possible, without wasting words
Break, Blow, Burn, and Make by E. Lily Yu
Recently, I’ve been challenged by the book Break, Blow, Burn, and Make, which talks about the vocation of writing (and also the job of reading) in such a beautiful way that… I feel I’ve not achieved it at all. I’m more used to dashing my ideas quickly and seeing what people will say, but yet I’d also like to create something lasting. Has anything I’ve done achieved that? I’m pretty sure it’s a no.
So basically, I would like to live a life that connects with my loved ones, doing work that is meaningful, and also managing to write something great at the same time. Of the three things I’ve mentioned, the one that I’ve managed to do most is work, probably because I spend so much time at it (I’m thankful I find it meaningful, though it definitely is challenging and I wish for more time for the other two aspects!). As for the other two, I can’t help but feel that what I want is different from what I’m doing – or not writing – now.
Perhaps I should be searching for the right and better words to capture my feelings, but I am still dashing off this post to try and capture my feelings and ask: where do we go from here? Where do I go from here and can I learn from where you are going in life?
Only when many individuals put effort into thinking and writing clearly, choosing words not out of reflexive habit but out of a desire to precisely and accurately express their thoughts, will a society be capable of facing and dealing with reality
Break, Blow, Burn, and Make by E. Lily Yu
P.s. You are all lovely people for putting up with my sporadic posting and strange musings and I appreciate you all so much! I have one book review already written and notes for a tea review so I hope to have two posts for you before the month ends.
P.p.s. People (the Internet) tells me Notion is some wonderful tool for productivity. If you’re using it, please share if it helps you to live your life more true to your ideals, or if I’m just being tempted by the next shiny tech thing again.
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O.K., looks like WP feels like letting me comment on your blog today!
You are getting married soon, correct? If so, I suggest that you unburden yourself. Feel free to pull back and do less of the 1,001 things you want to be doing (either after you get married, or in the run-up to your wedding). Spend your energy on what absolutely needs it. I can only speak for myself, but the days before & after getting married are an intense time, physically and emotionally. For example, my migraines were the worst in my life right after a I got married. So give yourself however much space you need for a complete restructuring of your schedule, activities, and emotional priorities.
Crocheting and tea and writing will not go away, even if they pause.
And as for the E. Lily Yu’s intensely burdensome words to writers …. yes, it’s wonderful when we have the time and energy to focus intensely on what we’re writing and pick the exact perfect words. Most people don’t, especially most women. My novels were written in the evenings, with YouTube open and playing music for my kids as they went to sleep in the next room. C.S. Lewis (not that I’m comparing myself to him) was interrupted in his writing by the older woman he lived with, approximately every half hour. It is possible to write good stuff under those conditions. It’s a product of all the intense, focused thinking your subconscious has been doing since the last time you sat down to write.
I hope this comment is helpful, but if anything in isn’t, then please discard it from your mind at once!
WordPress has been really wonky with the comments (or even liking posts) nowadays – no idea if it’s because there’s so much internal drama.
But yes, thank you for the advice! I really need to learn to let go, problem is that I like/want to do it all :p
Someone said that sometimes, instead of writing you just have to let your creative well be filled, which I get but I’ve also been mostly doing that for the past three years. Hope I’ll be able to write like you one day!
Aw, thank you for the compliment!
I do know what you mean about wanting to do it all. Even now that I’m older and have more time to spend on things, I still want to: paint landscapes … knit … sew … garden and can … read and review books …. and write … each of these, full-time. On the whole, I think it’s better to have to much appetite for life and activities, than too little.
You’re going to be fine. Deep breath, honey. Hugs!
I have so many similar thoughts all the time! To the point I’ve been pondering just not thinking about anything as a strategy. Ignore AI and the news and everything depressing? And I certainly wish I had more time for hobbies and relationships, as well. I don’t even have time to sleep and it often feels like, “Do I sleep/actually clean my house/actually do something fun?” as a choice because I can only do one of those things. I don’t have any real answers/
Right??? I see everyone on the AI Ghibli trend but I haven’t even begun to think about my opinion, let alone how I want to engage with it. I would really like to be more thoughtful about life generally but I guess that’s the hard part.
I’m sure you’re not alone feeling that way. As for the AI you’re doing Great without it, just ignore what others are doing. I’m using the notion to keep reading notes. I write thoughts and quotes while reading which help in writing reviews. But I don’t use it as a planner as I’m hardly there all the time and it feels tedious to open it every time and go through different pages. I would rather keep a diary and carry it with me all the time. But for those who work on many projects, it’s a perfect tool.
Oooh I haven’t really thought of Notion in that way. I might try to dabble in it a bit more, it does seem like it’s useful for a lot of people
It takes courage to reflect on where you are versus where you wish to be, Eustacia. It can basically feel like a balancing act where you keep on struggling because you just can’t seem to get the balance right. But it’s worth striving for. And I’m sure you’ll find the balance you need, you just have to give it time.
Just one little thing that I hope will help you: the fact that you care about this enough to write it all down, means you’re already achieving something.
As always, thank you so much for the encouragement, Thibault!! I really appreciate it!
Briana’s comment captures the thoughts I wanted to share. Depressing news/world affairs and not having much time to do my hobbies, like blogging, has been dragging on me lately. My job requires me to keep up with the news and it feels like it’s sucking out a lot. So anyway, I’ve been considering the same questions you shared, including about AI and all.
I would like 48 hours in a day, if only to be able to do all that I want. Or to be able to resist the news but I also have to stay on top (of tariffs, anyway) for my job!
I read this when you originally posted but didn’t have time to reply. So I made a note to reply. And I’m just now coming back around to it. Life.
I feel this. I think we all go through phases of “what now” or “what next”. It’s a natural part of life, I think. Finding something next that reignites our passion and energy is key. Even asking the question can be a sign you’re feeling burnt out or you’re ready for the next thing. Or for a change up at least.
As far as Notion, it’s pretty neat. I think it requires a lot of setup but is fun. I’ve really considered using it for my writing of novels, because you can organize but also I like the idea of keeping a wiki of my book series characters, locations, etc. But mostly I’ve stuck to spreadsheets, kanban boards, and notes. Seems quicker and more efficient.
It’s okay, I just saw your comment (and I didn’t think I wasn’t checking comments for so long!). But yeah, definitely in a transition phase now that I’m thinking more carefully about it.
I’ve been playing around with Notion too but mostly for notetaking. I think the database properties are neat but I haven’t really gone and learnt how to use them yet :p
No worries. Life can be that way sometimes. Now we’re even for both being slow with comments. 😂
And yes, note-taking in Notion is fun. I agree with that.
Whatever you choose to do, I’m sure it will be the right thing for your life and your story 💜
Thank you! <3